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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

IN JEOPARDY


WELL, IF U SEE THIS PICTURE HERE (NO, IT´S NOT VIRGING MARY) IT IS OBVIOULSLY BECAUSE I AM NOT AT THE HOSPITAL...

You have no idea how miserable, heddious, awful, terrible, shitty, crappy, unfair and hatefull day I had since the very same moment I opened my eyes (3 a.m.) until I finally got back from hospital, sent a "phone squad" to get Alexis on line and then, after listening to my adored husband´s voice, I fel in deep sleep on my Mom´s huge comfortable king size bed.

OK, LET START THE TALE... at 3 am and after two sleeeping pills I woke up to go to the bathrroom and I fell on the floor, I called Mom several times until she woke up to help me while Alexis, 5000 miles away was waking up because of the same screams (we sleep with our skype line open).
Then, after the trauma, Mom and A. stayed with me but I couldn´t go back to sleep, pills didn´t work and my anguish, anxiety and "lokomotion" were too severe to be controlled, more the night before going to be hospitalized.

So, I woke up and wrote another song for my musical (yes, the results are amazing if you are under pills).

Then, as the departure time was coming, Alexis and I started our endless try-to-stay-up-beat-and-never-fall act (That never really worked on these last two weeks in hell, I mean, they helped, but neither of us could avoid a Panic Attack from time to time).

AND I RAN TO THE HOSPITAL(HOUSE OF PAIN)

I hate public hospitals, their long aisles, the community rooms (20 beds each, separated by courtins, yes like an enfermary in the WWII)

I arrived to admissions, made the paper work, they gave me a bed (yuk!) and there I was... after fighting with myself for the last week, accepting the fact I was in that disgusting bed, ready to start my "two days treatment".

After being there for three hours as the star of some kind of "Show&Tell" class to all the young neurologists working at that hospital (my case is so rare that everytime I get into as Hospital, I became an object of study like a lab rat). They kept going and asking questions, and checking my reflections, my symptoms, etcetera. untill I got pissed off and started asking straight about when the hell they would start my treatment... they looked to themselves and some resident said: "oh no, I already talked to Doctor X (The man in charge) and he said we won´t start anything untill tomorrow..."

"Then, I´m out of here"
(And I put my coat on).
The little resident became pale as snow and asked me to wait for a moment...
I said: "Lady, I´m here for only 48 hours against my will to do a special treatment my doctor prescripted me, and now, you are saying you want me to stay here just to warm up a bed until you decide when to start doing something TOMORROW, excuse me, I´m outta here..."

Then, another woman came up, one of these stoopid idiots who has that attitude that they´re the owners of the hospital with only 25 years old and a hedious rictus on her lips, she exclamed: "but mister, you know thsast if you leavee now we won´t be able to reserve the bed for you and you will probbably won´t find any bed free tomorrow"
My answer:
"Listen bitch, do you think this is the Hilton? I WON´T STAY A NIGHT HERE and about your "reservations"... well, I will take the risk" (of course this shut her stupid rictus up and never dare to speak to me again)

By this point the little resident was already bringing DrX to my room-aisle-community center- bed.
Dr X is a magnificennt doctor, one of the greatest that ever took my case, sincerelly I don´t know what the fuck was going on with him today.
My conversation with Dr X(this time gentler and more friendly than the ones with the other professional wannabes):

The point was that, by a stoopid misunderstood of my doctors (yes, they are the greatests profesionals here, but tonight I´m so furious that you can call them assholes!)
They didn´t want to start that ferocious treatment cuz "they needed to make a few testings first", then, while asking what those testings were about, they mention (between others) a Medular puncture (yes, to insert a 12 inches needle on my spine a to extract liquid from it)
AND I SAID I´M SORRY, I´M LEAVING.

I´m not scareed of needles on my back, the point it´s just that I already had 4 punctures of that in less than two years.... to have another one could cause an irreversible damage on my system, so.... CRAZY.

Dr X and I talked for more than a half hour, and he nooded while I was asking "and now what do you expect to find? don´t you remember how many times you tried to go after things that took you to nowhere? And now you wanna repeat that? tell me, why another puncture? why putting me in Jeopardy like that?"

He agreed and respected my decition of leaving the Hospital as long as my state of mind remained in one piece and as soon as I could avoid the need of strangle that bitch who talked to me about "reservations".

Now the plan is to wait, tomorrow morning Dr X, Dr G and Dr R, are suppossed to have a meeting to discuss all this, then, they will call me...

in the meantime... I´m still turning into a beautiful cactus or "in Jeopardy" as you Americans love to say...


AS ALWAYS, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT. AND FOR ALL OF YOU UP THERE CLOSER TO ALEXIS, PLEASE, HE NEEDDS POSSITIVE ENERGY AS MUCH AS I DO!!!
(after all, he is the one who will have to wather the lil´argentinian cactus)

Monday, May 29, 2006

and it seems there are no other choices....

Yes, tomorrow morning (monday) I´m going back to the Hospital...
Everything is so scary, sudden and wild, what two days ago was "trying to walk with my cane" now is "please hold me or I ended up in the floor".
What two days ago was "please help me with the fork to eat" now is "please feed me"... AND THE LIST GOES ON...

Sunday was surreal, moving, full of surprises and extremely emotional,

FIRST my Husband, 5000 miles away following every move, supporting me and embracingg me on his love by Skype. "I will never let you down" he said.


SECOND a very weird phonecall-correspondence with my ex (Jerk) who after two years reapeared offering me all his material in case I needed it for a new photo producytion. (he stoill has tons of my own stuff --costumes, etc-- on m,y former appartment) but the most surprisingly thing of this whole thing was the "friendly and familiar" tone he used... as Alexis said: "Ian, is evident that thers´s something he wanted to say for a long time : I´m sorry". THAT´S MY HUSBAND only a man of his integrity could have reach to that conclusion and say it in loud to the man he loves, I love u Alexis, I admire you.

THIRD: The hospitalization, I called my doctor several times to have no answer... but now I know a littlr more about this new treathment, they will put the line straight to my veins for two days and will test the reactions in blood several times a day, wich means I gotta be locked there for two or three days every month. Not that terrible you´d say nut I´m furious...

FOUURTH: I went to see my cast again, and took Mom with me, they were terrific, and I enjopoyed their after party even though I couldn´t barely move from my chair... The surprise here was that I had the honor to share my table with Edda Diaz, one of the leyends of the argentinian theatrical world. When I asked her how she looked so gorgeous she stared at me and said "because I´ve been in love for five years now". it was one on those moments. (here the picture with Mom, Edda and Me).

SIXTH: The projects that keeps on coming, first I got the full director seat of my musical for kids, no more second opinions or fightings with the castt (I fired one of them). Then, my other play, Sade, The divine Marquis is facing another season starting next saturday... (wow). Then Alejandra Kalnisky (photographer) has more picture projects with me--- and all this at the same time I´m turning into a beautiful cactus. (or any veggy you preffer)
and SEVENTH: well... watch yourselves




Now you see why I had to change my mind and go shopping for a robe, slippers, pijamas and sleeping pills????????????

Friday, May 26, 2006

BETWEEEEN DESPERATION, EXHAUSTION, EXITEMENT AND THE POWER OF YOUR ENERGY.

I am not able to believe what has happenned today...

The day started with a Journey to the Hospital due to I have no improvemenrts under the increased dosys of cortizone I´ve been taken since My illness attacked my brain again. I was terrified cuz my doctor told me the night before that I would probbably be hospitalized to apply a new drug treathment....

I was desperate, furious, frightened, crying and completely lost.

My love (5.0000 miles away) woke me up playing our wedding song "You can´t stop the beat" on Skpe while I was trying to get dress and stop crying. Alexis always gets to the deepest corner of my soul and heart every time he tries to cheer me up, no matter how down I would be...

He wrote THIS post on his site asking people to rise their glases and send the good vibes and positive energy I needed to get through all this crap.

THE DOCTOR´S APPOINTMENT WAS KINDA WEIRD: For the first time since this all began I shown myself vulnerable and even cried in front of my doc, THAT´S IT, I´M DONE WITH THIS AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I´LL SURVIVE, I JUST CAN´T BE THE SAME HAPPY CLOWN YOU WERE TREATING LAST YEAR AND PLEASE FORGET ABOUT ME BEING HOSPIITALIZED, JUST FORGET IT!


SO this was the mood I was into during the whole day... this anguish, this frustration, this horrible feeling of having everything taken away... one by one, all the little things that I gained in the last two and a half years (from a coma state to a wedding with the love of my life in Florida) are vanishing away.... and now I can´t even go to the bathroom without assistance of an adult...

Oh, and they increased the cortizone pills from 60mmg to 80mg a day now!!

BUT THEN, THE MIRACLE HAPPENED: All this emails, salutations, tosts, good vibes and positive energy you all sent me became flesh.

At 9.30pm someone knocked my door.........Mom got it and I heard people whispering... then Mom stepped ahead and said: "Ian, you got a visit, but get ready cuz it will be very hard, are you sure you want the surprise or will this burn your nervs?

"I´m ok Mom, who is it?"


Nicolas, my Son, after three years of absense, entered my room to give me that hug you all were sending me via e- .


Three yeas since the last time he touched me, three years since the last time he kissed me, threeyears since the last time he looked into my eyes and said: Dad, I love you"

This time he came with his wonderful "real Blonde husband Matt, who was as happy as me to be here and finally met his Father in Law...


So, next time someone says positive energy is useless... he´ll be get A kick on his face...

THANK YOU

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A MODEL of a BITCH



Two weeks ago I had the wonderful surprise to know that the amazingly talented Alejandra Kalnisky (one of the new BabyDolls whos making giants steps in the BA ARTS PHOTOGRAPHY) was intereted in work with me...

Actually the real story is that my choreographer and friend Maku Malanchuck, my loyal partner in al the crazyness I´m always into, had the oportunity to work with this talented photographer during the shootings of her last portfolio. (Maku has a Boutique specialized in antique wardrobes and historical clothing where she also sells her own designs).

One fine day, Alejandra Kkalnisky (Aleksandra) was walking by the San Telmo neighbourghood streets and stopped by Maku´s place being enchanted by that Magical atmosphere created by the old velvets and the ancient Organzas she has for sell.

Then, Aleksandra decided to ask Maku to join her on her new portfolio production.
The pictures came out so wonderful that, once I watched them I got down on my knees praying Maku to introduce me to this talented young lady who was able to take those magnificent images on camera.

The rest was waiting... until one night, and after a thousand words from Maku about me, Aleksandra finally made the call and asked me if I was interested to work for her... OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE!!!!!!
And it was ten minutes later when she already had pictures of me in diff´rent situations and a hundred diff´rent ideas for a concept to work on.

MAKE UP-COSTUME-LOCATION-STUDIO-ACCESSORIES-HAIRSTYLE-WIGS-HAIR EXTENSIONS- ELEMENTS-HATS......AND MORE...

Yesterday, after several emails, discutions, concepts, etc. I went to the glorious Alejandra Kalnisky Studio to start a shooting session that lasted for more hoursthhan we all were ready to.... but believe me, the atmosphere was so awesome and her talented hands manipulating any lence, light, costume... it was sureal.
And the results just FABULOUS.


We made three diff´rent sessions in one jouney

The first one was a "White Monk" under the title::
"Ian by Alejandra Kalnisky"
All very white, lightfull and angelical (if there can be such thing with me)


The second (and my favorite):
"Vampir Lestat" (it was like an expedition to my darkest side, very romantic, wild and monstruous) It was quite a experience! I´m still all chilly!! LOL

And the last,( but not the least):
"Il Pagliaci" (This is one of the Opera rols I love the most, and Aleksandra´s version of it was a very extreme, deep, representation of HOW anguish, melancoly and sadness afects on the human spirit. For me, as an actor, it was a real challenge and the results, as you all will see, are fantastic! it was long, one of my hardest and cathartic works.)

THIS ARE SOME SAMPLES SHE SENT ME- THE WHOLE PORTFOFIO WILL BE PUBLISHED SOON ON HER OWN SITE (SEE LINK ABOVE)


IAN BY ALEJANDRA KALNISKY
VAMPIRE LESTAT



IL PAGLICI





SEE THE WHOLE PORTFOLIO HERE

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Crazy dummie theatrical sunday

Sunday dummie sunday... that was the first thought that came to my mind when, while planning my day early in the morning, I found out that my entire family were going to the Renault Fuego Club this afternoon...
As some of you may remember, last year my Mom, spend a little fortune to get what it was her dream while she was a teenager...
AN 80´S RENAULT FUEGO SPORTIF COUPE
Well, it seems that all these little freaks who never really grew up and, while getting older, could afford one of these pieces of steel, joined all together to start what they call "a club".

So, every third sunday of the month, a big parade of Coupes Fuego is crossing the BA highways, to get together on a diff´rent point of the city...
Untill this point, sounds like a funny group of losers... but what if your familly decided to join them???
would you scream? I DID.
The least thing I wanted with my nowadays mood was to share the day with the happy family (ala Mickael Landon) with a bunch of gears and car freaks... but I had a play to asist in the afternoon... and I needed the ride...

So what-the-hell, I went...


The car exibition was boring boring boring (I hate coupes, they are unconfortable, expensive and......useless)

I took the chance to take a few pictures of this silly show to share with you...





This is our machine, It´s quite spectacular but so sadly old fashioned... well Mom´s choice!



Oh well, not all was about cars and engines... I did my best to try to find something interesting in the middle of all that dorky enviroment...
AND I DID IT!
(YUMMY!)









IN THE EVENING I finnaly got to the theatre to see my guys play, they were fantastic (as usual) and after the show, we all got together on our own club, The Classic ALCALÁ RESTAURANT.



Where most of our plays ended, having dinner, a few laughs and discussing every project we have in hands.. oh... artists!









I love this people!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

You know when nice people gets to your heart and become Good friends, they never leave...

And yes, times goes by, life goes by and you would probably loose contact with them, you would probably stop writting letters, or calling... or even saying hi on MSN Messenger...

But they´re always there, inside your heart, in that very same place you gave them when you knew they had entered your life to stay...

Dekel & George, my angels from Tel-Aviv. (THIS is the short story once I wrote about Them)

The reason of this post is that no matter what I´m doing, or where I could be, if I hear the words "Eurovision Contest", I can only think about these two.

When they came to Argentina they brought with them a huge collection of tunes from this very important Song contest from Europe, and guess what? they turnned me into another Eurovision Fan Freak!!!!! yes, living in Argentina!!

Thanks to Sattelite TV and internet, I´ve been able to follow this show every year since they lefft... and, of course, to have each tune, read every review and even vote for my favorites each year... it´s like being an American Idol freak, but in Europe... uhm...Argentina.

I love you Dekel & George

HAPPY EUROVISION WEEKEND!!!!!

Friday, May 19, 2006


One of the things I am terrrified about, since this new fall of my health came up, are my meds secondary effects... I´ve already mentioned on this blog the several problems that a huge dosis of Cortizone like the one I´m taking now everyday can give to your whole system..

And even though I´ve been taking these pills for less than a week, I can feel the changes have started and, believe me, that´s not an easy to thing deal with...

Before all the physicall aspects (pimples, stretch marks, skin spots, lost hair, lost nails, liquid retention=inflation of the body...etc) The ones that came first were all those little things that you can´t see on a picture...

Anxhiety disorders, chmging moods, imsomnia, palpitations, shakens, anguish, and the worst of them all: bitterness.


I can´t control my emotions... and now, while writting this and against my will, I had taken two of those fucking pills I always denied to take, just to stop this horrible state of anger-anguish-pain-sorrow. This bitter cocktail I´m going through tonight and that already made me hurt someone I love.

I can´t control it, and now I decided to take the pills, relaxing, calming...doping... whatever...

I can hear Jack Nicholson saying

"I wanna be a better man"

I´m sorry.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

2 months

Toay it´s two months since I sat in front of you all (the ones that were there in the room and all the others that were sharing our love inside our hearts) to say "I do" ...

I do love this man
I do want to be his for the rest of my life
I do want to share my happiness with you all
I do think this is the happiest moment of my life
I do need his arms round me always
I do admire him, in every aspect you can admire a man
I do want to cellebrate he is in my life
I do know he is THE ONE
I do compromise to join him to build our future together
I do cherish all we´ve been trough as my own treasure
I do feel he has saved my life
I do want him to be mine for the rest of his life
I do cry if he is not near
I do smile just thinking about him
I do tremble everytime he touchs me
I do dream to be the man he deserves.

I DO

(and I´d do it again, and again, and again, and again...)
I MISS YOU

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A Bitch in action!


Never ask a Handicapped Bitch to direct your play... Unless you really hate your Cast and want to give them some sort of punishment.
Yes, and NEVER let her carry her cane to a rehearsall She could be very intimidating...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

ANGELS



I always reffer to my friends as ANGELS, and that´s what they are.
Since the very same moment the word of my new fall was out they started calling, visiting and even ploting a smart-ass move to take me out.

Angel #1 was Manu, the most loveable straight boy I ever met (I´m sorry Boris), He once came to live with my ex (Jerk) and I to my former downtown appartmen during the first stages of my illnes (he used to take me out to run my wheelchair in the BA fast-speed Avenues). And no, no matter how many attemps I have made, I couldn´t turn him gay (though now he knows the difference between Jean Paul Gaultier and Dolce & gabanna).

Manu came to my house for the day and joined me to my brainscan emergency appointment (at 1am!) and stayed until It was over just to give me a hug.

Angel#2 Maria, Countess of Navarro, My one and only Friend from Highschool, Maria is always there for me, we shared the same passions (and sick humor) If you are a regular visitor here, then you are usd to her name and our evil adventures. In case you are not familiar with them, take five minutes to read this one, my favorite.

Maria took me to her house and spent what it was one of the most painfull evennings I ever expierienced (or remember). [yes Daa´ling, THAT evenning]
She even gave me a pair of fabulous black opera gloves from the 1890´s that belonged to her great grand mother (picture shown here).

Angel#3 was another Countess, the wonderful Countess Bedelia, who was with me all the time, giving me wise advice and love through a thousand emails that were arriving to my email account in the most critical hours (right when I needed them). I love her, and I thank fate everyday to put her on my way.
I invite all of you to read the blog of such a sofisticated lady and, like me, to fall in love with her fabulousness.

Angel #4 was the amazing singer Andrea Toraño (here, a video of a duet were performed on a
Music hall).
Andrea is another familiar name on this blog, She´s the winner of the I-make-it-look-fabulous Award every time one of her outfits enters a room. She really knows where the fan is and how to get it.
She took me out to my favorite place, Milion, and started pushing me in to be part of her new project (she offered me the Production of her next show) thing I accepted right away. (projects are always good!)

Then Angel #5 and Angel #6 joined us at Milion.

#5 Jorgelina, a wonderful Opera Singer I have met last year. A very sweet girl who helped me a lot to get my voice back during my rehab days (my illness affected my throat and paralized it, d making me loose my voice, I couldn´t even speack then) .

and finally #6, Fred.
Fred entered to my life as all the most amazing men I adore did, as A LOVER.
Several years ago we crossed our ways and...well...it happened.
Then I had a stupid boyfriend that was about to get kicked and Edu was a precious, young, suscesfull, good looking man with that hipnotic look on his hazel eyes...well... it happened.
Even though we enjoyed (!!!) our affair, I had my boyfriend,and then, a few month later, Fred found the love of his life ...so "our thing" turned out to be a beautiful friendship that lasts ´till today.
Yesterday, after three years without seeing each other, he entered one of the rooms of Milion to give me a hug. It was awesome.

So, ladies and gentleman!, the stormy mood´s been taken away...

thanks to all of you who showed your support and care and love and prayers and possitive energyand all those líl´things that are like candy for the soul... and as someone commented once: "I AM a gifted person"

Thanks to knottyboy, Jesse, Serra, the guys in SoBe, Scotty, Ryan, Babs, Mikelino, MrU, Tish, Jon, Jeff, thephoenixnyc , Joey, Unknown Reader(so sweet), Marko, and all those wonderful people out there in the dark for all your emails/comments/calls during the storm.

And of course, to my hero, ARCHANGEL, the most sofisticated AA member (no, not American Airlines... no) the reason I go on, my life, lover and now FLAMBOYANT HUSBAND:
ALEXIS.
( trying to kill me in this picture).

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Veredict

The Brainscan was clean... no weird spots to worry about, no grey shadows, no tumor, NO STROKE.

But unfortunatelly, this is not something to be happy about (though it is, in a way).
The symptoms are still there, and they (as my fucking strange and undefined illness) are not leaving me (thing we all thought it was happening).
NO, IT´S NOT LEAVING, and I´m facing another fall.
That´s the veredict...

Last time it happened I ended up in a coma for 4 days. Who knows what´s waiting for me now.

As a prevention move, my Docs have increased today my medication (yes, those drugs that have been poisoning my blood for the last two years, making me look like a Mutant Hippo all inflated and full of pimps in my back, not to mention the bloody injures in my skin, imsomnia and loosing my nails).

Yes, my regular dosis has been increased 30 times today.

Now if anyone comes to me saying he has a problem and start complaining about his job... I swer I´ll shoot him.

AND ALL OF YOU, DON´T BE STUPID! ENJOY YOUR LIFE! ENJOY EACH DAY AS IF IT WAS THE LAST! AND GO OUT, RUN, BREATH, SCREAM IF YOU HAVE TO...BUT DON´T STAY HOME FEELING MISERABLE ABOUT YOURSELF...

You never know where the end is...or what is waiting for you there....

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

BRAINSCAN--------------YUK


It´s 3.30 in the morning, I just got back from my EMERGENCY BRAINSCAN.
As the Profesional Pet of Neurology that I became, I´m used to those big noisy and annoying coffins where they insert you for 40 minutes to enjoy your claustrophobia.

THE RESULTS WILL BE TOMORROW AT 5PM.

I´ll make an update to tell you hows is it.

Thanks for all your love and support.
Ian.

BRAINSCAN UPDATE *

WELL, there´s been a mistake with the papers... the results will be ready for tomorrow, right before my appointment with my Neurologist. So, tomorrow night we will know what the fuck is happening to my lil´old crappy brain.

24 hours more in PAM (Panic Attack Mode).

* Jeffy, I stole this creepy picture from your site, thanks!

Monday, May 08, 2006


I know you all usually come to this blog to have a few laughs, and that´s absolutely Fantastic but I´m afraid you won´t get them with this post... My apologies.

Since I got back from Florida, I´ve been feeling a lil´odd (phisically), and, instead of calling my doctor or ask someone for advise, I just stayed cool thinking:"It´s just that I need to get used to live here again... nothing serious"

Well, last two weeks I felt I had more troubles of coordination, my legs were "confused" and it was a lil´bit hard to keep my balance while walking (with my cane, of course).

But I stayed silent (as my insecurities were growing).

I sent a message to my neurologist and he replied giving me an emergency apointment today at 5.30pm.

He was surprised when I told him about all the improvements I had during my visit to Miami Beach, and very worried while he was making a few tests on my body. It seems all these lil´symptoms are the signs of another STROKE.

I must wait now until next week to see the results of several tests including a deep BrainScan to see if this theory is correct or if I am just a victim of some stupid virus I got flying ´round BA endless night.

Last time this happenned, I ended on a wheelchair for more than a year, (not to mention a week on a coma) but this time I´m ready... as I told Alexis (husband):

"it won´t be easy... but I´ve been there already"

And be sure about this:
I WON´T GIVE UP.


So let them come...

Friday, May 05, 2006

The Endless Night Chronicles:" Embarrassment at the Fanciest Place of Buenos Aires Elite "






From all the marvalous places Buenos Aires Night (and morning, and noon) can offer, Milion is the top of the tops.

Milion is a 4 story building (a french petite palace) built in 1913, turned into a huge restaurant-bar with several art exibitions in the 3rd floor and a magnificent garden (with ancient trees) wich includes an incredible view of the back of the house and its giant Carrara Marble stairs.

One of the reasons that makes Milion´s atmosphere so unique is that all furniture and decoration (curtains, tables, chairs, etc) are original from the 1910´s (perfect shape, of course)and the lighting is set the way you "see what you have to see" getting you drown in another age where you can find yourself having a cocktail on a table between a marble and bronx chimeny and a old large piano.

Another goodie is that you can choose a room of the house and close its doors so you can have a "private party" (as I used to celebrate my birthdays there every year).

Needless to say this place is the choice of every single raising star-local celebrity-new rich- VIPs in town, and that its prices are not easily affordable.

Of course, by the time I was a regular costumer, ahem, my situation wasn´t the one I am now, and I used to go there after work every day, so, the staff started to call me by my name, making me feel home and giving me a few "special benefits" so this place became a perfect operation base to start all my dates, just to impress the boy when we jumped the queue and got the greatest table, or got free champagne to make a tost, or extra chocolate in our desserts.

Last night, my date was the sweet and charismatic actor Martin Perez who, instead of being impressed by the place (that wasn´t the idea anyway) he impressed me by a wonderful talk and a very enjoyable night between cocktails and calamari (his idea, yuk).
The original plan was to leave early to attend a live sex performance called "The Phantom of the Opera" but we were having such a wonderful time that we quit the idea of watching "dickdancers" wearing a cape and a mask (here are the pictures of the show. CAREFULL-NUDITY).

We stayed until almost 4am and left.
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Oh! you wanna know about the embarrassing situation!
By the moment the check arrived I took it first cuz my intentions were to invite sweet Martin (This place is so fucking expensive! but it´s worthy) but, when I was counting my cash... I didn´t have enough money to pay the whole thing!!!!!!!!!
It seems that somewhere in the way to Milion, I lost a 50box bill (maybe it fell when I payed for the car, I dunno) and I wanted to die.

Finally, when Martin, who was stearing at me during the I-lost-my-fucking-money-and-I-can-only-pay-the-half-of-it thing (with a same-old-story look on his face) took a hundred from his wallet and, accepting my money, paid the check.

Next goes on me, Martin, I swer...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Cconspiracy!!!!!!!


I guess you all remember the stories about my Son Nico who is living in Iowa, US. since he moved there to study (insert whatever the hell related with numbers he is studying) at the University of Iowa five years ago.
Well, I have enough clues to believe there´s something odd going on between my flamboyant, adorable soon-to-be-kicked-on-his-ass husband and my beautiful latin-lover-wannabe lil´(well, not that lil´) son.

Last week, during one of our endless and wonderful phone chats:

Alexis (husband): Did you have any news from Nico?

Ian (meeeh): who?

A: Nico!

I: What Nico?

A: your son! Nico!

I: oh, Nico

A: yes! Nico!

I: ok! Nico! No, nothing since he wrote to say he wasn´t coming to the wedding...

A: oh...

I: why? you know something?

A: (gasp) no, I was just asking...

I: you know something!

A: no, I was just asking...

I: you know...

A: no, I don´t

I: yes, you do

A: no, I don´t

I: He is coming

A: ...

I: does he?

A: I don´t know...(gasp again)

I: now that you mention, I remember a comment of him on my blog saying "get ready for a surprise" what do you know?

A: yes!! That´s why I asked about him!

I: I don´t believe you, I know you too much, you are lying to me...

A: no, I don´t

I: yes, you do

A: no I don´t

I: yes you do...

A: whatevaaahhh

I: whatevaaahhh

So, If my Son is coming, someone´s nose will grow so much that he won´t need hanger holders anymore, for the rest of his life...

as for me, to have someting thaaaaaaaat long coming from my husband´s body, ahem, could be very interesting doncha think?

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IF YOU DON´T KNOW ABOUT MY SON, READ THE FOLLOWING STRACT FROM MY TWIGLIGHT ZONE POSTS:

YUP, I HAVE A teenage SON.
before you all run to get an exorcist, or a mental institution, Ill start to point this clear. Life gave me one of the most wonderful gifts I ever had: the love of a son.This is a very long story, full of joy and sadness, love and hate, tears an laughs. But for the moment, all you need to know about Nikki (my son) is:I met him when he was 17 and right away I became some kind of protector tohim, I was always there giving support and advice, helping him to get through a very particular family situation. (a very hard-to-live one, like taken from a movie). I was amazed with this little guy, and suddenly he was an important part of my life.In the meantime he won a very important scholarship to study in IOWA-USA! so,we started to get the idea of living apart from each other in the followingyears. As the day of departure became closer... this "FAMILY SITUATION" became worstand worst, so nikki spent a few nights at my home with my family.
In one of those endless nights he decided that, from that moment and further I woul be his father, that everytime he would think of me, he would do it as if I were his own father... and that was as crazy as sweet.
since that night he calls me dad. and, believe me, i love him as my own son. Now he´s livig in IOWA, he has graduated a few months ago and he´s planning to hit the big apple.
AND AS HIS FATHER, I CAN´T BE MORE PROUD OF HIM.