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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

THE BETTY FORD DIARIES, PAGE 1*

*-written in my laptop during my first week at the REHAB CENTER.



HELO EVERYONE!

this will be my first post since I came into this clinic. I´m a little dissapointed with the fract that it´s already thursday and I don´t have my internet access thing arrenged yet but believe me, i´m working on it, trying to convince them that I have some kind of extrange condition that makes me kill people dresssed in white suits (doctors, nurses, etc) if I don´t have a regular dosis of internet, so I have two posibilities:

  1. to get internet access
  2. to get free pills (they think i´m nuts... I wonder why?)

in the meantime, I´ll have to get used to the idea of posting once a weeek, during weekends.

WELL MY BABIES I´M IN!! AND I´M SO HAPPY!!

this place is great, my room is very nice and spacy and i don´t have to share it!!, the food is good, better than the one I eat at home (sorry Mom, it´s great u don´t get a word in english!) but the most important thing: the people here, from my designated P THERAPIST to the ladies who works in the kitchen, the nurses, and the rest of the staff are so kind and gentle. they are all the time trying to make you feel better, smiling, cheering, joking... it´s like a trip to Disneyland.

And the therapy seems to be good!, actually its my third day here and today, during my PT session, THEY MADE ME WALK FROM THE GYM TO MY ROOM TWICE!!! (of course I was assistd all the time by Alejandro, my designated PT -the coolest guy here, I swer I didn´t have the chance to choose between tHem!!- AND I COULD DO IT!!!!)

YES, IT´S NOT EASY, I´m working really hard, it´s the only thing I can do here, I don´t have time even to think I´m in a clinic, the days starts really early in the morning and the activities don´t stop until the evening. when I´m so fucking exhaussted that instead of sleeping I get into A COMA!

and lemme tell ya, every muscle of my body hurts like hell it feels like I had a needle stucked inside them... but worth the effort.

No matter how cute, handsome, gentle and kind this people could be, they are good profesionals and they r here to help me get everything back to normal inbn my life. it´s a long road.. but I had definitely accepted the callenge, and I won´t give up.

As you know me.. I have already a lot of funny stories to tell you about this place... I will take my time next week to sit down and write them well as you deserve.... but believe, I already started to be me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EHEHHEHEHEH

HERE YOU GOT ONE....

first day of work... gym...

ALEJANDRO (my Handsome taken-from-an-escort-catalogue 1.92 meters tall PT) was trying to make me stand up evaluating my equilibrium skills, so he asked me to hug him, putting my arms around his neck. he held me by my waist strongly (thing that took me by surprise) and we started to "walk" like that around the gym... (our faces were 3 or 4 centimeters close)

then winked and said to him: "baby, it´s been long since I dont dance with such a handsome guy, are u gonna give me your number or what?"

He started to laugh and now, everytime he do that exercise, we laugh about the songs we should be dancing togheter.

GUYS I´M HAPPY

SEE U NEXT WEEK

I MISS U!

IAN

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

BETTY FORD UPDATE: "Getting ready"

Scarlet -BITCH!- O´Hara said it "tomorrow will be another day" and for me it definetly will be! and I´m writting this little post in the middle of the night, really freaked out about tomorrow´s new beginning... everything is now arrenged.
tomorrow morning around 8.00am,I´ll be in.

I wanna thank you all for those 48 (!!) emails I found tonight talking about my decition of moving to a phisic rehab center to get my therapy. thank you so much for all your wishes and support they are so important (maybe more than a PT threathment).

I JUST CAN´T THANK YOU ENOUGH... cause a post is about words, and I just can´t find enouugh words to reply to so much love!


ABOUT THE SITE:
WELCOME TO MY SOUL - GAY ON A WHEELCHAIR WILL NOT DIE! I don´t have any newss about Internet Access to patiens in that clinic, but:
  • I´m taking my laptop (yeah... the MUSEUM´S WINDOWS 3.11 COLLECTION ONE) with me, wich means I won´t stop writting.
  • I´ll be out every wekend, so be sure you will have at least one update once a week.
  • I can still convince them that posting is part of a therapy that helps me not no kill my doctors and eat them like HANNIBAL LECTER did on the movie...
  • I´ll read your comments everyday (somebody can read them to me by phone... remember my last stay at the hospital SILVANA? she was reading and i was in bed holding my cell phone)
  • Maybe you will miss my comment on your sites, i swer ill visit you as far as I could do it. be patience and please.... DO NOT FORGET ME

I LOVE YOU!
AND I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!
STAY TUNED FOR MY UPDATES
U R ON MY HEART AS MY SOUL HAS BEEN YOURS SINCE I STARTED WRITTING.
TAKE CARE
IAN.



Friday, February 18, 2005

The curtain Falls - Vacations in BETTY FORD



About an hour and a half I got a phonecall from my Social Health Service that took me by surprise... THE PRIECES WERE APROVED AND THEY WILL ACCEPT TO PAY FOR MY RECOVERY TREATHMENT IN A (VERY EXPENSIVE)REHAB CENTER (FULL OF PETES!!! -If u were following my copmments exchange with my lovely TISH you´ll get this joke) .

I just couldn´t believe it, I was ready to start a lawers war agaist them ´cause it´s their obligation to pay for my threathmments and I was sure they will deny iT. Even though I wasn´t wrong ¨(they actually accept to pay only the 80%, they said yes and the thing is:


NEXT TUESDAY I´M MOVING TO C.A.R.I.L.E. REHAB CENTER (NOOO IT´S NOT BETTY FORD U FOOL!!) FOR A MONTH. (OR TWO... WHO KNOWS.. MAYBE MORE)


Everything is changing and theres so much to do and arrange... I just wish they allowed me to use internet during the week ´cause I wanna be still in touch with u all and say hi from that fancy clinic!

Tonight I´m going downtown, So this is all for now.

I want to ask about internet connections and the chance to take my laptop thre before I say goodbye to you all... but be sure I´ll find my way to keep on posting.
I love you so much
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEWSS
IAN


TISH... YOU DON´T HAVE TO WORRY ANYMORE, THEY´LL TAKE CARE OF ME AS YOU WOULD. I LOVE U!


about the pic: my little brother took it with my cam today. isn´t he just an awesome photographer??

Thursday, February 17, 2005

More Wheels Stories: My Family is CRAZY

First of all, WOOOOOOWWWWW if I had known that I would become this popular...
Since I posted about my new "car" I had more emails than ever! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THIS SUPPORT!!! IT´S SO GREAT TO KNOW YOU ARE THERE... I GOT MESSAGES FROM PEOPLE I NEVER KNEW OR PEOPLE WHO HAD NEVER READ ME BEFORE....IT WAS AWESOME
I JUST CAN´T THANK YOU ENOUGH.



And now... let me entertain you (Robbie Williams you are so yummy).

I had been laughing a lot about people´s reaction in front of a wheelchair... my little brothers, for example (they are 9 and 12 years old), they are having fights all the time because they both want to use the wheelchair to watch TV!!! YES, you are rigth, they should be locked in a mental institution.

My Dad is so proud of his present that he is telling all his friens and Office coworkers the whole wheels story (and they just don´t know how to react... they must be thinking: "Is he happy because his son can´t walk?")
Remember that by the time there are wonderful people like you who actually congratulated me for getting the chair, there are lots of morrons who think of this as a tragedy (like my english grammar).

Mom has her tip of the day too:
Today I felt great... and tried to walk... Mom was sitting in front of me, ssmiling and after a few minutes she said;"you idiot, now that your father finally brought you a wheelchair you want to walk again!!" It was hilarious and I laughed until I almost fell down. YES, you are rigth, we should be locked in a mental institution.

About the pictures you request... ok, no matter how bizarre it could be, I´ll take them for you... what else do you want me to do? I´m all yours (please be carefull about your requests... I won´t end dressed as a nun singing the hills are aliiiiiiiiiiiiveeeeeeeeeeeeee...-NOT AGAIN)

LOVE
IAN

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

PEOPLE: I´VE FINALLY GOT MY WHEELS!!

NOTE: IF YOU R NOT A REGULAR READER I RECOMMEND TO READ FIRST "THE YEAR OF THE FALL" FROM MY "ESSENTIALS" ON MY LEFT SIDEBAR
You will think I´m crazy... actually, I DO think that most of the time...
The thing is, last friday night my Dad brought me a (wonderfull!) present:
MY OWN WHEELCHAIR!!!!
CREEPY UH? but let me tell you why I was as hapy as I had gotten a new MOUNTAIN BIKE



Everybody´s first impression was horror, yes, they were horrorified at the idea of see me using a wheelchair (even Buddy was shocked) Ok, I can´t walk without help, that´s true, but, I think that face that fact was harder for the people who love me than for me.

Since this started, I jus´t stopped going out, I mean a coffe store, movies, a mall, a park. etc. (remember one of th first thing I did was the whole accesories thing with mom)

A wheelchair brings me the chance to plan a diffrent weekend! not just being locked in my appartment (thing i love.. I´m not complaining... but I live right in the center of everything and I ccouldn´t put my nose out from the building). Even here at my parent´s... i´m indoors all the time... but now... I have WHEELS!!! and I´m so happy.

Here u have some related stuff to laugh about:

IAN ON WHEELS / SATURAY NIGHT- BUDDY´S BRTHDAY

We decided to go out and arranged a meeting with a few friends at RECOLETA (a very fancy neighbourhood of BUENOS AIRES, full of bars, restaurants and expensive stores that nobody can afford). we decided to met in a corner and then start "walking" until we found a good place to stay at.
The picture was: Ian on his wheelchair wearing dark sunglases (at night! because of my doble sight thing) behind me, BUDDY (he´s a model, very tall and incredibly handsome) pulling the chair. then all our friends (they were four, two ladys and a couple) surrounding me, laughing out loud and making car noises while we were trough the crowds trying to find a restaurant.
it was insane. we were calling everybody´s eyes and I was so happy to be back i BA NIGHT. (but on my dark glasses I was like a mix between Penelope Glamour -picture- and Ray Charles! for god´s sake!)

MONDAY AFTRENOON / DOWNTOWN RALLY!!

Manu came home early and asked me: "are you ready for a ride?" And -what was _I thinking????????- I said yes

He took me on a wheelchair ride through CORRIENTES AVENUE (it´s our local Broadway) running and screaming, making formula one noises and scaring people... it was hilariouus.
Thank God there are no traffic tickets for a simple chair!! are thay? oops... I´m so sorry Mr.cop ,,, I´m just a little guy who can´t walk ... aren´t you sorry for me?



OK I´M HAPPY, WHAT THE HELL, before I leave you I would like to share with you all a picture (real) of the souuvenirs i gave to my guest at mty Birthday party(september 25th)
I hope you love them. click here to see them... and don´t panic, you already klnow me enough not to be surprised

I LOVE YOOU!
IAN.

Friday, February 11, 2005

A very very special weekend




If u are a regular reader of this freaky soul, you´ll know that my weekends are more than just two days off. But this one will be particulary interesting because the people I love the most and I will celebrate very special dates.

FRIDAY FEB 11ST: SILVANA´S B-DAY

Sil (she´s a regular comment girl around here) is my very best friend, my ANGEL,PERSONAL GODDES, MY MUSE. The woman who inspired and supported me in every crazy little (or huge) thing i started to. The world is just perfect if I know she´s around... I LOVE U SIL. HAPPY B-DAY!!

SILVANA: pick up your little gift here. IT´S NOT BIG, but I know u´ll love it ;)




SATURDAY FEB 12ND: BUDDY´S BIRTHDAY!!!!

Yes... my Buddy is celebrating, and I made the cake!!!!!!! (it´s a very complicated recipe... called "mil hojas"- i´m sure DINA will find the way to explain u how it is on her comments-).
WE r planning to spend the whole day togheter and have lunch with his family on sunday.(they r all coming to my appartment) It will be grat.
as Buddy doesn´t read this (he hates english), I won´t extend this with greetings and cheers for him hehehhehehe. he knows I love him, aand you know it too!!. HAPPY B-DAY SWEETY!!


SUNDAY FEB 13RD BUDDY´S SISTER´S 24º ANNIVERSARY

This lovely couple is celebrating their 24 years of love and invite me and Buddy for dinner on sunday night.
Pepe, the bachelor, happends to be a wonderfull cheff (remember my new years eve dinner? this man is a genious).
I love them as my own family, and i´m so happy they invite me to share this wonderfull moment with them. CONGRATULATIONS!!

and for all of you... this has been a weird week in my bloggy experience... first I found my site was gone, then the re-build process, then my posts (only two deserves to be called like that), and I barely could read yours... sorry about that.

I hope to get back to normal next week

special thanks to TEXAS BISCUIT, TISHA AND BETH... U KNOW WHY
KISSESSS!

see u on monday!

IAN

Thursday, February 10, 2005

ABBALIZED: What was I thinking??!!

Last night, while I was working on this freaking template code, I decided to download a few music files.
I was bored, upset, pissed off, kicking my own butt, irritated, bitched, sleepless and hungry (yup... i´m eating all the time) so, as some kind of magic pill to rescue me from that fucked UP karma (?) I downloaded the complete ABBA DISCOGRAPHY!




yes, I thought a couple of those queer himns and joyful 70´s crap would help me to bring my mirror a little smile. .


WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!

IT was worst... but that´s not the main problem...-
the thing is that since this crappy files downloaded, i just couldn´t stop playing them all the time!!!!! I´m even singing!!!!!!!!!
god... i didn´t know they were addictive!




KIDS STAY AWAY from DRUGS ... (AND ABBA!!!)

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Still working

As u can see, my site is going back to normal after my template collapsed two days ago for soome fucking unknown reason...

I just got back from my weekend and found that half of my template html code had been misteriously erased. a hacker? a mistake? a blogger.com malfunction?

The point is that, step by step... rewritting every freaking uncomprehensible code, i started to recover all my little things. my haloscan, my pics, my polls, map, etc.
so.. be patience... read about dinosaurs, and don´t miss my commments on your blogs..
I´ll be back soon
I´m still working this shit out
I love u
IAN


CHILDHOOD PORTRAITS:JURASSIC PAssion

I know this won´t be one of your favorites posts and I know this is the worst way to start it too but, for some reason, I had this feeling of writting about my childhood passion (scape closs?): DINOSAURS.


First of all, a very brief description of what my chilhood was like:

I was born in September 1979, first child of a very young couple, first grandson, first nephew, first EVERYTHING! so imagine how my first years were like... yes, I was a little golden prince and it was like that for 7 years untill my brother, L., was born.
yup.. i had everything a kid could desire, toys, games...love, joy and happyness.

I had lived in that cristal bubble for too long... and when i grew up and started
to deal with other kids.. i discovered that the world was not that incredibly good.

I was special.... some kind of freaky overintelligented dumbed ass, i started kinder knowing how to read & write. A weird little beast.,

Now that i think about it, i never knew i was diff´rent from other kids until i started to feel "diffrent things" and i´m talking about my preteen age... and the main reason of this "unassumed weirdness"was my parents attitude: even though they knew they were raising a monster, ( a gay one) they never allowed me to feel i was unlike any other people in this planet. They teached me how to write as a game and because i demanded it. I wanted to know everything and they supported me on that. (The whole sexual orientation issue was not a problem... yet)

So... i started school.
My golden little world of wonder was not that marvalous... and as a scape closs i discovered there were lots of diff´rent species of the most incredible animals this planet had seen alive. DINOSAURS.

I can´t remember how it started, or who showed me a draw for the first time, but I still have the picture in my mind: my grandfather, one of the most important souls I had in my life, came home with a science book called “the book of dinosaurs” (remember this was a pre-JURASSIC PARK age). This book had not so many pictures on it, and was the only book he could find. It has like 300 pages. I loved it... it became sort of a Bibble to me, and i´m proud to say that, despite being readed a million times, it is still on my desk.

Then I made my first eye contact: Dad took me to La Plata Museum of Natural History to see the dinosaurs collection (the greatest in Lat America) and that was enough to make an obsession started.

I had a new world... it wasn´t golden, but it was full of the most beautifull creatures, giants, geourgeous... and above all things: safe.

And I grew up dreaming on becoming a sucessfull paleontologist... sorrounded by dino-books, dino-toys (anything that looks like a dinosaur included:godzilla, lizard skeleton, etc).
A paralel reality where "being diff´rent was not cuestionable.
I was 7 years old when I first talk with a real paleontologist and he was so surprised I knew all the expedition proceduures and technical names.
That was my scape from reality... I was special... but in this Jurassic bubble I was safe.

Years passed by, I´m an adult now... or trying to be one...

There are no Dinos on my house.. all my toys are now part of my little brother´s toy boxes... I often buy dinosaurs for all childrens I know... I still have this little feeling inside, and I´m not ashamed to admit that I was the only person at the teathre who was crying at the Argentine Premiere of JURASSIC PARK... I was a kid again, and my childhood dream came true, they were breathing, they were so amazingly alive! Like in my dreams, those that helped me get through SADNESS in an age when I didnt know the real meaning of that word.

THE END

I had this one too!!!

The "HTML IDIOT" nightmare II



BLOGGER.COM FUCKED UP MY TEMPLATE AGAIN!!!
Please read my Dino-post while I´m working on it again.
love ya!!
fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Goodbye Ian!!



It´s friday again.. in twenty minutes my car is leaving to downtown...
and i ´m so in "THE SOUND OF MUSIC" mood.
Imagine me with my most stupid smile on my face dancing the "farewell" song stupid choreograpyhy

.
What the hell I´m happy


see you all on monday!!

[[Children:]There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hallAnd the bells in the steeple tooAnd up in the nursery an absurd little birdIs popping out to say "cuckoo"

[Marta, Gretl, Brigitta:]Cuckoo, cuckoo

[Children: Marta, Gretl, Brigitta: Regretfully they tell us Cuckoo, cuckoo But firmly they compel us Cuckoo, cuckoo To say goodbye . . .

[Marta, Gretl, Brigitta:]Cuckoo!

[Children:]. . . to you

[Children:]So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night

[Marta:]I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

[Children:]So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu

[Friedrich:]Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu

[Children:]So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen

[Liesl:]I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne

[Children:]So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

[Kurt:]I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye!

[Brigitta:]I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie

[Louisa:]I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly

[Gretl:]The sun has gone to bed and so must I

[Children:]So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbyeGoodbye, goodbye, goodbye

[Guests:]Goodbye!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

ACCESORIES: MOM IS CRAZY



My mother and I went shopping togheter this evening after very long since I left home for the last time (except for my weekends in downtown).

We didn´t know that WALL*MART brings you a wheelchair for free if you can´t walk and still want to suffer all the ailes-full-of-crazy-people experience. (thank God it´s not x-mas eve). So, we decided to spend a few hours selecting, collecting, packing and carying groseries and all kind of stupid articules we never needed but we had to get.... (yes, big colored signs and advertaising works with people like us).

I bouught a new office desk chair (more like a sofa actually, it´s enourmous) to write a little more comfortable on my pc. So now, I´m writting like a king on his throne...

But this is not what the post is about, I want to share with you what happened after the big shopping thing.

Since last week, Mom is complainig about her hair, thing that really pissed me off because, for the first time in my life, I like it the way it is right now.

I just had to say it was ok to get her huge neurosys started and nothing I could say or do would make her feel better about her look. She wanted to go to get her hair cutted and I said NO WAY!

So, instead of the coiffeur´s I took her to a little drugstore inside the mall (those little shops where u can find anything from cigars to a purse) .

DO YOU GET THE PICTURE??

Ian on a wheelchair full of groseries bags, taking his mother´s hand
and pushing her against her will inside the drugstore while she was bitching
about what the hell he was gonna do inside that horrendous little
shop.

once we get itoo this full colored world, I showed my mother like ten thousand diffrent accesories she could use to make her hair without having a haircut... and suddenly a thought came to my mind: "OH MY GOD, SHE NEVER USED THIS STUFF, SHE DOESN´T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE IT"

Mom has always been naturally beautifull, fit and elegant. she´s very young and she´s great if you think she had four babyboys (I´m the eldest.... and only beauty!). She´s what I could call "a practicall woman" she doesn´t wear any make up, or beauty crap.

But lately the entire family found her cheks a little made up and some natural colored lipstic on her lips. who klnows why... Is she feeling old? Did she discover that REVLON exists?

mistery.

BACK TO THE SHOP

I made her choose between lots of hair accesories and, in front of the store lady, I explained her how to use them... both women were staring at me in silence, like two pupils in front of their teacher... and then my mom said on loud:

"THIS IS THE GREATEST THING ABOUT HAVING A FAG AS YOUR SON, DON´T YOU THINK?"

As the store lady and two costumers who heard that line started to laugh their butts out, I blushed and decided not to hang my mother with one of those belts they sell on that shop... after all SHE WAS RIGHT and I love her so much!!! .

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

What tha......?????

IT´S 3a.m. I am bored, I already read all my blogland neighbours posts, I alreay wrote all the emails I had to, I took all my pills, I already ate and had my coffe... I Googled myself in Google Image Search and the following picture came up:



A NAKED MAN IN BED WITH A HALF-DOZEN OF CATS??????????!!!!!!!

HOW AM I SUPOSSED TO TAKE THIS????