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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

ACCESORIES: MOM IS CRAZY



My mother and I went shopping togheter this evening after very long since I left home for the last time (except for my weekends in downtown).

We didn´t know that WALL*MART brings you a wheelchair for free if you can´t walk and still want to suffer all the ailes-full-of-crazy-people experience. (thank God it´s not x-mas eve). So, we decided to spend a few hours selecting, collecting, packing and carying groseries and all kind of stupid articules we never needed but we had to get.... (yes, big colored signs and advertaising works with people like us).

I bouught a new office desk chair (more like a sofa actually, it´s enourmous) to write a little more comfortable on my pc. So now, I´m writting like a king on his throne...

But this is not what the post is about, I want to share with you what happened after the big shopping thing.

Since last week, Mom is complainig about her hair, thing that really pissed me off because, for the first time in my life, I like it the way it is right now.

I just had to say it was ok to get her huge neurosys started and nothing I could say or do would make her feel better about her look. She wanted to go to get her hair cutted and I said NO WAY!

So, instead of the coiffeur´s I took her to a little drugstore inside the mall (those little shops where u can find anything from cigars to a purse) .

DO YOU GET THE PICTURE??

Ian on a wheelchair full of groseries bags, taking his mother´s hand
and pushing her against her will inside the drugstore while she was bitching
about what the hell he was gonna do inside that horrendous little
shop.

once we get itoo this full colored world, I showed my mother like ten thousand diffrent accesories she could use to make her hair without having a haircut... and suddenly a thought came to my mind: "OH MY GOD, SHE NEVER USED THIS STUFF, SHE DOESN´T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE IT"

Mom has always been naturally beautifull, fit and elegant. she´s very young and she´s great if you think she had four babyboys (I´m the eldest.... and only beauty!). She´s what I could call "a practicall woman" she doesn´t wear any make up, or beauty crap.

But lately the entire family found her cheks a little made up and some natural colored lipstic on her lips. who klnows why... Is she feeling old? Did she discover that REVLON exists?

mistery.

BACK TO THE SHOP

I made her choose between lots of hair accesories and, in front of the store lady, I explained her how to use them... both women were staring at me in silence, like two pupils in front of their teacher... and then my mom said on loud:

"THIS IS THE GREATEST THING ABOUT HAVING A FAG AS YOUR SON, DON´T YOU THINK?"

As the store lady and two costumers who heard that line started to laugh their butts out, I blushed and decided not to hang my mother with one of those belts they sell on that shop... after all SHE WAS RIGHT and I love her so much!!! .

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