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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Saturday, December 31, 2005

1º bloggyversary!!!

THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My "X-Pecial" friend

  • My X-pecial friend bought a new cell phone and called the company (*611) 7 times on a day because he had never wrote the number down and he couldn´t remember it.
  • My X-pecial friend was trying to get a picture of his crotch to make a joke email to his boyfriend, lost balance and fell down hitting the computer table and throwing everything (computer, monitor, notebook, cds and himself) to the floor. NO INJURES.
  • My X-pecial friend had a 2 minutes phone conversation with someone thinking it was someone else and realised about that after he hanged up.
  • When asked about what kind of car he owned, My X-pecial friend had to call his brother to ask.
  • My X-pecial friend bought a Christina Aguilera´s concert on DVD.
  • My X-pecial friend cries everytime he listens to "Midnight train to Gorgia".
  • My X-pecial friend cries everytime he sees a Disney´s Classic (oh please DON´T make him watch The Lion King again!) .
  • My X-pecial friend has pictures of him showing cock flying around the www.
  • My X-pecial friend cries everytime he listens to RENT.
  • A few years ago while rehearsing a play, My X-pecial friend had to wear a priest robe costume and he went back home everynight full dressed up as a priest just to get better sits in the bus (stoopid polite catholics) but he stopped doing that when the neighbours started to ask his mother "if her son had taken the sacred vows" at the grocery store. (stoopid neighbours).
  • My X-pecial friend used to embarrased his mother while wearing a very big pair of sunglasses in public saying they were "exactly as the J.lo ones".
  • My X-pecial friend can´t wait to be able to deance again just to try the latest Madonna´s choreography he saw on her last video "hang up".

Now tell me: "What did YOUR x-pecial friend do?"

Monday, December 26, 2005

A Cinderella X-mas Story

Picture taken before I left to Gladis´Party


Merry x.mas dear readers!

First of all, I gotta say even though this was a lil´strange holiday celebration for my family (it is the first x-mas without my grandmother "Elsita", my second mom, who died early this fucking year) we had a nice dinner, happy faces and, of course, tons of presents!

what??
that xmas is not about gifts??
who´s born?? Jesus who????!!

Anyway...I had very special gifts, in some cases I was literally FORCED to accept them (yes, you know who you are and what I´m talking about) but you all know how it is, and I´m waiting for my time to revenge.

But this post is not about xmas, it is about the night before xmas eve...

I dont know is this thing is taking place in other countries, but here in Argentina is tradition that when a girl turns 15, her parents give a huge fancy party where the "quinceañera" has to dance a waltz wearing a huge bride-like dress. This night is very expected by family and friend, and by the girls, of course, who dream about this night since kindergarden.

Gladis is one of the dancers at the Company I´m directing, she performed a very funny rol on my musical for kids and I gotta admit she has stolen my heart the night of the first auditions. Gladis is problably one of the sweetests girls I ever met, She comes from a very poor family and (as I knew not so long ago), she has no relatives alive...

When someone from the company heard she had never have a 15th party, we decided to surprise her with a huge fifteenthlike birthday celebration to her upcoming birthday last 23rd when she was turning 31 years old.

We had her made a great designer dress, gave her a hair&make-up cmplete makeover, picked her up with a limo and took her to a private ball room when we were all waiting for her, clapping and wearing gala suits.

It was "one of those nights", full of lil´details, the go-go girls gave a show with a song I wrote for her, we hired a singer who sang her favorite songs during dinner, we made a video foe her... and the most important thing: SHE FINALLY COULD DANCE HER WALTZ OF 15th... at 31.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ivy du Bois Press Conference (The Wedding FAQ)


RITZ HOTEL, “CATALINAS” CONFERENCE ROOM
EXTRACT FROM PRESS CONFERENCE GIVEN BY IAN IVY DU BOIS AND ALEXIS DUBOIS IVY ON SAT. DEC 17TH.


WHEN AND HOW THIS STARTED?

Ian.- well, back in febrary, a few days before I moved to the Rehab Center and way before I got divorced, I got a very long email from one of my readers, saying he had been enjoying my site even though he hadn´t commented on it.

Alexis.-Shut up Bitch! You had commented on my site first!

Ian.- Oh yes, you are right. Anyway, that was the beginning. Since that day, we´ve never got apart...

Alexis.- except while you were at the Rehab... you didn´t have internet there...

Ian.- No, but I wrote you every weekend when I was out. We ended up as very close friends even before the long distance phone calls started...

Alexis.- Then, a few month later, I installed the MSN...

Ian.- It was then, when we created a monster...

Alexis.- oh yeah...

Ian.- we started to depend on each other...

Alexis.- emotionally...

Ian.- phisically...

Alexis.- yes, that too...

Ian.- And some day, without knowing it, we started to think about “us”. By then, every single thing happening in our lives it was comented at night by Msn...

Alexis.- and by email during the day...

Ian.- a lot of emails...

Alexis.- hundreds...

Ian.- We shared everything...

Alexis.- we´d found like a supporting group of two...

Ian.- and then...

Alexis.- it happened.

Ian.- we were in love.




WHO ASKED WHO?

Ian.- who was it, A.?

Alexis.- you did!

Ian.- did I?

Alexis.- yes you did, we were joking about some sillyness and then I said something like “it´s like we were already married” and then you said: “if I´d say I do, what would you do?, would you marry me?

Ian.- oh yeah...

Alexis.- then, I think it was the morning after that, I asked you if you would marry me in a real ceremony at The Palace, you answered “I do”

Ian.- so... you asked me, then! Anyway, we are getting married.


Is there a traditional ceremony planned.?

Alexis.- There’s nothing traditional about this union; we are making up the rules as we go. However, we will be registered as “a couple” by The City of Miami Beach that afternoon and most likely have a affirmation of them at the celebration. And that is what this is:
A Celebration of our love and admiration for each other.

When will the ceremony take place?

Ian.- The date is not up yet...

Alexis.- It will be Mid Febrary, as soon as Ian arrives to Miami.

Ian.- As soon as I get some paperwork done...

Alexis.- Of course, it will be at The Palace

.
Will there be a show?


Alexis.- Isn’t every reception a bit of a show? Ian wants a show, so he will get one. At first I told him he could have dancing bears if he liked and he said, “As long as it’s not a bunch of hairy men with beards, wearing leather vests, and dancing the Conga.”(laughs)

Ian.- (laughs) I certainly prefer the “Macarena”


How many guests are on The List?

Ian.- Alexis is making the lists, He is my “wedding planner”...

Alexis.- but you are the one with the J.lo ass, bitch...

Ian.- Ok... let´s talk about the list baby...

Alexis.- Over 100, probably 200 when completed. I’d like to get it to the legendary number of Mrs. Astor’s 400, but that’s not quite possible. I guess that makes the list half-Astored.

Ian.- Jesus Christ! Did you invite Virgin Mary too?

Alexis.- no my love, you will be the only “virgin” that day...

Ian.- bitch...

Should I wear a tux to the reception?

Ian.- Alexis! Did you invite him too?!

Alexis.- I don´t know who the hell he is... but we don´t want to be rude, aren´t we?

Ian.- not necessarilly...

Alexis.- Formal wear on South Beach is a black T-shirt as opposed to no shirt at all. Anything beyond that is overkill.

WHAT WILL HAPPEND AFTER THE WEDDING?

Ian & Alexis.- WEDDING NIGHT!!!

I´M SORRY, I MENT, IS IAN MOVING TO FLORIDA??

Ian.- As Alexis said before, this wedding is A Celebration of our love and admiration for each other. But no, we are not planning to live togheter...

Alexis.- not for now...

Ian.- yes, not yet. Is impossible for me to leave Buenos Aires... you all remember I am under a very strict Rehab Program to recover all things this fucking ilness took from me and, for the time being, I can´t think of living outside Argentina. Alexis can´t leave The States neither so...

Alexis.- ... we´ll become “regular travellers” visiting each other...

Ian.- at least in the near future...

Alexis.- and there is the “other” thing too...

Ian.- what “other thing”?

Alexis.- the second wedding, stupid...

Ian.- oh yes! We are planning a future second wedding in Buenos Aires... Alexis will meet “The Addams”...

Alexis.- I can´t wait...


LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, TIME IS UP...MR AND MR IVY DU BOIS THANK YOU FOR ATENDING TO THIS PRESS CONFERENCE.
NOW PLEASE, LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE WE RELEASE THE DOGS, THANK YOU.

A NEW "ANNIVERSARY FACE"

As you all already noticed, I´ve been working in this new Template and I´m still fighting with it.

Alexis and I are giving a "press conference" to answer all the wedding FAQ. This post will be published very soon in both sites, untill then I will still trying not to throw this new template (and my computer) into the fire.
Love.
Ian.-

Monday, December 12, 2005

HAPPY


Hello Dolls and Action Figures!

Since last week I´ve been going through an endless state of Joyfullness (is that a word?)...
I know you all are CONFUSED and all worried about me and all this crazyness I´m up to, please DON´T BE.
As every thing that comes from the deepest corner of the heart, this decition has risen me up and filled every empty hole (don´t be gross! I´m trying to apply a metaphore here!)sorrow has buried in my saoul with joy and happiness.

Since I was a id, I´ve celebrated happiness with music, Singing. There is no good memory from my life when I wasn´t singing... in front of friends, in front of my family... on stage... or to myself.

This time, fate decided I wont be allowed to sing (my ilness) so I´ve been searching between my old records and found THIS FILE http://personales.ciudad.com.ar/ianveneno/rios.mp3
(right click and save or just click to listen.)
The song ( singer, actually) is not good, I know (it was recorded three years ago at somebody´s birthday party) but I´m posting it anyway as a symbolic way to share my happiness with the ones who have been sharing every lil´step I made(my ilness, again), helping me (literally) not to fall.
Yes, I´m a happy bitch.

Love
Ian.-


Comming soon: THE WEDDING FAQ.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

What´s thats smell in the air??

IT´S X-MASS SPIRIT!!!!!!

------------------------------------

OH, two short ones:

1- My friend and Fallen Angel of Temptation, Ethan, from Brat Boy School has been nominated for BEST GAY BLOG at the Best WebBlogs Award. He needs our votes and I know we all want to see him getting his prize (he will wear no undies!), Seriously, he deserves to win.

Take 30 seconds of your precious time and VOTE for Brat Boy School HERE

2- I´m getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

OK then, I´m Borat




This will be short, cause the important post here is the one below (yeah, I´m getting married & flying to Florida).

In a recent comment, one of you, who signed as "Unknown Reader" (clever uh? Maybe he has known about my crash on AnonymousCoworker and want his own piece of the cake) said I sounded like Borat on my videos.
I had no idea of what tha hell a Borat was so, I went to my beloved friend Google (after teasing Guillo by Msn).

Even though I just cant stand that stoopid ALI G, I laughed a lot with all those Borat videos I´ve found, and I just HAD TO share them with you all...
click HERE to get to Borat Site or HERE to see a video,

Yes Unknown Reader... You were right.
Ian.-

(yes!! I´m still gettin´married!)

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The HUGE thing


What a title uh?
Well, if you´ve been reading this crap during the last two weeks, then you remember I mentioned something HUGE that was happenning to me... something I was so excited about that I just couldn´t write about.
OK. it is about time for me to start sharing all this crazyness with the people who were there beside me during my darkest hours...

Ok people, let´s share the light!

Early this year (before I had to move to the rehab center) someone was zurfing through the internet and discovered my site, this site.

Since that day, he decided to be my guardian angel and stood by me all the time, during happiness and sorrow (and you know I had tons of both).
He just stayed there giving me that wonderfull gift of a few lines on my email box, then, there were long distance calls that lasted for hours and, later, those endless nights on Msn Messenger.

He showed me I would never be alone, cuz he was taking care of me, and, through the distance, he let me take care of him too.

Because of him I had the chance to meet a group of wonderfull people I learned how to love and share crazyness with them.

Somewhere two or three weeks ago I got this email saying there was a secret plot about taking me up there to finally met each other and that several of my readers were secreately ready to travel to Florida to give me a hug. (most of them are already there).

So, if everything goes well, and I´m sure it will, I´m going to South Beach Fl. next febrary (to get married)!!!!!!!

I love you, beautiful ACHANGEL of mine.