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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ivy du Bois Press Conference (The Wedding FAQ)


RITZ HOTEL, “CATALINAS” CONFERENCE ROOM
EXTRACT FROM PRESS CONFERENCE GIVEN BY IAN IVY DU BOIS AND ALEXIS DUBOIS IVY ON SAT. DEC 17TH.


WHEN AND HOW THIS STARTED?

Ian.- well, back in febrary, a few days before I moved to the Rehab Center and way before I got divorced, I got a very long email from one of my readers, saying he had been enjoying my site even though he hadn´t commented on it.

Alexis.-Shut up Bitch! You had commented on my site first!

Ian.- Oh yes, you are right. Anyway, that was the beginning. Since that day, we´ve never got apart...

Alexis.- except while you were at the Rehab... you didn´t have internet there...

Ian.- No, but I wrote you every weekend when I was out. We ended up as very close friends even before the long distance phone calls started...

Alexis.- Then, a few month later, I installed the MSN...

Ian.- It was then, when we created a monster...

Alexis.- oh yeah...

Ian.- we started to depend on each other...

Alexis.- emotionally...

Ian.- phisically...

Alexis.- yes, that too...

Ian.- And some day, without knowing it, we started to think about “us”. By then, every single thing happening in our lives it was comented at night by Msn...

Alexis.- and by email during the day...

Ian.- a lot of emails...

Alexis.- hundreds...

Ian.- We shared everything...

Alexis.- we´d found like a supporting group of two...

Ian.- and then...

Alexis.- it happened.

Ian.- we were in love.




WHO ASKED WHO?

Ian.- who was it, A.?

Alexis.- you did!

Ian.- did I?

Alexis.- yes you did, we were joking about some sillyness and then I said something like “it´s like we were already married” and then you said: “if I´d say I do, what would you do?, would you marry me?

Ian.- oh yeah...

Alexis.- then, I think it was the morning after that, I asked you if you would marry me in a real ceremony at The Palace, you answered “I do”

Ian.- so... you asked me, then! Anyway, we are getting married.


Is there a traditional ceremony planned.?

Alexis.- There’s nothing traditional about this union; we are making up the rules as we go. However, we will be registered as “a couple” by The City of Miami Beach that afternoon and most likely have a affirmation of them at the celebration. And that is what this is:
A Celebration of our love and admiration for each other.

When will the ceremony take place?

Ian.- The date is not up yet...

Alexis.- It will be Mid Febrary, as soon as Ian arrives to Miami.

Ian.- As soon as I get some paperwork done...

Alexis.- Of course, it will be at The Palace

.
Will there be a show?


Alexis.- Isn’t every reception a bit of a show? Ian wants a show, so he will get one. At first I told him he could have dancing bears if he liked and he said, “As long as it’s not a bunch of hairy men with beards, wearing leather vests, and dancing the Conga.”(laughs)

Ian.- (laughs) I certainly prefer the “Macarena”


How many guests are on The List?

Ian.- Alexis is making the lists, He is my “wedding planner”...

Alexis.- but you are the one with the J.lo ass, bitch...

Ian.- Ok... let´s talk about the list baby...

Alexis.- Over 100, probably 200 when completed. I’d like to get it to the legendary number of Mrs. Astor’s 400, but that’s not quite possible. I guess that makes the list half-Astored.

Ian.- Jesus Christ! Did you invite Virgin Mary too?

Alexis.- no my love, you will be the only “virgin” that day...

Ian.- bitch...

Should I wear a tux to the reception?

Ian.- Alexis! Did you invite him too?!

Alexis.- I don´t know who the hell he is... but we don´t want to be rude, aren´t we?

Ian.- not necessarilly...

Alexis.- Formal wear on South Beach is a black T-shirt as opposed to no shirt at all. Anything beyond that is overkill.

WHAT WILL HAPPEND AFTER THE WEDDING?

Ian & Alexis.- WEDDING NIGHT!!!

I´M SORRY, I MENT, IS IAN MOVING TO FLORIDA??

Ian.- As Alexis said before, this wedding is A Celebration of our love and admiration for each other. But no, we are not planning to live togheter...

Alexis.- not for now...

Ian.- yes, not yet. Is impossible for me to leave Buenos Aires... you all remember I am under a very strict Rehab Program to recover all things this fucking ilness took from me and, for the time being, I can´t think of living outside Argentina. Alexis can´t leave The States neither so...

Alexis.- ... we´ll become “regular travellers” visiting each other...

Ian.- at least in the near future...

Alexis.- and there is the “other” thing too...

Ian.- what “other thing”?

Alexis.- the second wedding, stupid...

Ian.- oh yes! We are planning a future second wedding in Buenos Aires... Alexis will meet “The Addams”...

Alexis.- I can´t wait...


LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, TIME IS UP...MR AND MR IVY DU BOIS THANK YOU FOR ATENDING TO THIS PRESS CONFERENCE.
NOW PLEASE, LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE WE RELEASE THE DOGS, THANK YOU.
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