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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Monday, January 31, 2005

A letter from heaven

My dear blogland friends:

This is just a little note to let you know I´m great, happy and having a wonderful time here at my downtown appartment. Since I arrived here last friday night, everything has been joy and fun.

Now, in this rainy sunday afternoon, and after having lunch, while my buddy is taking a nap and Manu, the guy who´s living with us, is in his bedroom playing soft melodies on his guitar (he´s pretty good!) I decided to open my old laptop (its a piece of history, it deserves to be part of a museum, it works with windows 3.11!!!for God´s sake!) the same one I used to write my novel, and start this message.

This weekend has been a little less wild than the last one, maybe because I tried not to have so many friends visiting me all the time. I love to have guests, and during the week, I´m so looking forward to enjoy their company but, as my buddy says: “Ian, you have no limits”, And I must admit it, sometimes (yeah, sometimes) he is right. (thank God he doesn´t speak english, he´ll never know I´m admitting he´s right! ).

Every weekend, my appartment turns into a big parade of people coming from all sides of the city to see me (remember I´m staying at my parents durin the week, and it´s very difficult to get there if you don´t have a car, so I always ask my friends to wait until weekend to see me in downtown).And I love it! I adore to be sorrounded by the people I love and, can´t wait to see them all again, the problem is that a weekend just have 48 hours.
I ussually spend saturdays and sundays from meeting to meeting. Hour after hour, my friends come along and stays with me talking about our lives without stop, like a group of parrots inside a cage. This is for me like nothing had happend in my life (no fucking illness) as if I were living here again (this place was always full of people) .
The point is that after a whole evening of joy and laughter, I ended absolutely exhausted and then is when my problems starts, because, one of the main collateral effects of the drugs I´m taking is to get over-exited very easily. Emotions are very hard to control and usually it´s impossible for me to sleep more than four or five hours togheter.

Iit´s very complicated, think about living inside a cristal bubble, where everyone is worried about you, trying hard to avoid all things that could possibly affect you, without reading papers or watching the newss. y know it sounds utopic, ideal. but that´s my life during the week, and believe me... is NOT that good.
Even though my entire family is doing their best to make me feel good and safe (I´m not complaining , of course) this (weekends) is the life I´m missing.

And despite being not very healthy, I´m still organizing meetings (while I was writting this,
Nora and her husband called... I invited them for dinner... my husband will kill me!!).
heheheheh ok, I won´t sleep easily tonight, what the hell...

Monday afternoon, right after nap time.

Here I am again, alone in the living room, it´s still raining outside, Buddy is working, Manu is sleeping (he stayed with me the whole day, cocked for me, and took care of me all the time) I´m taking my coffe as IIhear
ESPEND LIND old records.
Last night dinner was lovely and thank God, I´m not that exhausted as I thought I would be. people left at 1 am (not too late).
I woke up this morning thinking who I was going to call for todays lunch and coffe time... but I decided I had enaugh for this weekend... after all, I´m here to relax... don´t you think?
YES Buddy.... sometimes I DO have limits...


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