Stay there and keep doing your your JesusChrist Superstar Act and make sure this time you´ll bleed to death!
My drug treatment seems to be losing its power and the secundary effects started fistfucking my brain every night. Insomnia, panic attacks , anxhiety disorders... a true nightmare.
A week ago, I wrote the Countess:
[...]this weekend was very sad
Madonna performed in Miami her last show of this world tour in the US.
call me stupid, but I was so sad I couldn´t make it, this time I had my hopes that I could be there... and that made me think about where should I be now and where I am... stucked in my room, stucked in Buenos Aires, Stucked... period. far from the ones I love.
Last night I had a horrible panic attack and I had to ask Mom to stay with me... I know I won´t be able to go to the US in september as planned, and who knows for how long...
I AM SAD.
it was about time, wasn´t it?
Yes... there was a huge background, it wasn´t Madonna´s fault, but it started my loopings in that hedious DEPRESSION rollercoaster...
On the other hand, Madonna DID CANCELL the Southamerican leg of her Confessions World Tour, and, being a huge fan of her, I am so dissapointed and sad about it...
SO FUCK HER!!!!!!
And now, for the Lub of GOD, Robbie Williams just confirmed his two dates (70.000 seats each) at the Monumental River Plate Stadium in (of course!) Buenos Aires next October 13rd and 14th.
The ticket chase will begin next monday at 10.00am and it seems they will be a REAL PAIN IN THE ASS to get.
In March this year, U2 sold out two dates at the very same Stadium in only three hours... Just imagine what this Ticket Hunt would be knowing that the "pain in the ass" is coming from this hottie and not from BONO!.
(Thanks to my friend Guillo! he will purchase tickets in my name! I can´t do it while I´m in the Bubble!!)
The day after “friend´s day”, four years ago, I got a
Let´s go back to 1996, I was 16 years old and after my family had moved to a new neighbourhood, I had to start going to a new High School... I was again: “The New Guy”.
Untill that moment I had never experienced what to have real friends was, if you remember, I used to be a very lonely kid living in a cristal bubble and avoiding any contact with real people... what a freak weirdo!
I was a new guy and being sorrounded by people of my own age helped me change my “way of dealing with others” . At the age of 16, I decided to open that bubble and let others in...
For the first time in my life I had friends, I was going to parties and I was enjoying being “just like others”... everything was new and, lots of thinhgs were there to be discovered, I found myself being a “regular teenager” and it was awesome. (´Till that moment I was sort of a “scale model of an adult person”).
And I fell in love...
A few weeks ago I wrote:
"He entered to my life as all the most amazing men I adore did, as A LOVER"
I was talking about Fred, the man sleeping with his little nephew in the picture above. Fred, once a lover now a wonderful friend.
I know it sounds crazy... actually I realized about that after my husband politely called me "a whore" when he read that line... BUT IT´S TRUE.
When I look back at all the guys that really ment something for me (I mean as friends) is "funny" how I can picture most of them naked in my bed (figurative, I can´t assure it was always in my bed, lol)
The point is that, instead of thinking of me as "a whore" (I know you are!) I can say I´m kinda proud...
no! not proud of being a whore, bitch! the reason? I´m not sure... maybe proud of being
able to turn something meanningless (a lover) into the greatest treasure a human being can cherish (friendship).
Most of you might be wondering why in gay hell I decided to blog about this...
well... I can only say that it was such a good experience to open my email box and find Fred´s emails (including the one with that loveable picture) asking about my health and saying that his boyfriend (They have been together for more than three years now) was also worried about me...
"Life will find a way" says Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park...
of course he was talking about dinosaurs but that phrase came to my mind when I found myself "happily married" reading an e-mail from a "happily married" former lover who´s telling me that he and his boyfriend are worried about my health...
And I thought whores only get the money on the night-table in the morning after...
well... after several years I got a beautiful picture too!
To read more about Fred in my blog, click HERE(see Angel#6).
"Hi Ian!That's great news. I'm glad that you're fine. And I'm sure it
does get tiring talking about your illness all the time. Just know that you're talking about it a lot because people care and we love you lots!!!"
So... this will be a very brief entry just to let you all know that I´m ok. Everything since last friday has been great and, fortunatelly, NO DIZZYNESS or DOPE STATES are getting over me...
I´m just fine... and very happy...
Thank you Ted... thank you ALL!
All right guys!!! time to go back to mi Bubble.-
See ya soon!