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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

That´s it!

Today (monday afternoon) and after a very positive appointment with my Inmunologist (She found I got really better after two month with the new drug.... and decided to slow the Cortizone pills admistration down from 40mg to 20mg daily -remember that Cortizone has been poisoning my blood for over a year!), I finally went back to my downtown appartment to get some of my stuff back..
What I thought it would be a very tragic and painfull thing to do became, actually, into some kind of strange relief.





Last week, and after a month without talking with my "now oficially former" husband, I started a very rude email interchange with him---(trying to make him react..) . and what I got as an answer to it was no other thing that a confirmation that the greatest thing I could do in order to survive was to say enough and stop the usseless suffering I was living on during the lasts months.... he just didn´t get it... not even the half of those thousand words i had to say to throw up all te shit I had inside...
as always, he didn´t read, he didn´t listen, he didn´t understand...
so, with nothing more to say, I asked him to collect all what he considered was mine and putted it into a bag, that I would pick up today. (at this point, on his defense, I gotta say that he said I could take everyting... that I had more than a bag to get from that place).

And today, whe I opened the door, I found all my things packed, and a note:



"IAN:
TAKE ALL YOU WANT FROM HERE, I´M NOT KICKING YOU OUT.
BUDDY"


What the hell is that supossed to mean??
Anyway, I took all I could and came here... relieved, oddly happy, and thiking about how many things I was feeling at the same time...

THE GOOD thing:

"this morning the Rehab Center sent me two leters that arrived to my "room" after I had left it:

1. My friend from NY, JASON, remember I told you about him? He´s the one that I thought was missing and I found again last month. I LOVE YOU JAY!!!

2. One of my favorite blogland neighbourgs: the lovely TEXAS BISCUIT sent a very sweet postcard from texas. THANK YOU L.!! U R the Best!




I´m tired now... it has been a very long and grey monday... good night everryone!

love

Ian-.

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