Marc The__Gay_Dude*, died today. May he find relief from pain.
The following is an extract of a post Joshua, his brother, shared with us this morning, before he died
A lot has happened over the past week. Marc jokes that he feels like a car engine - where you unscrew the oil cap and dump oil into it. It's a good analogy as they are constantly dumping food into his feeding tube. And it speaks of how dehumanized my Brother feels.
I sat and stared at my little Brother - watching him fight his disconnection from the world. He played on his laptop; listening to music - checking out blogs; and all that kind of stuff. It made me realize that the net has been the one thing which has kept him feeling connected with the world. It's ironic that something so impersonal - became personal for him.
I'd imagine that there are a lot of sick people - who do the same thing he does.
At any rate, Marc and I shared our affections and we said, "goodbye" to each other. He's slowly fading into a comatose state - and will eventually be there, permanently until he passes away.
I don't want him to fight, anymore - because it has become a quality of life, issue.
My Brother is a victim of too many 'complicated' health problems - 'dominoing' into one big mess. His kidney is failing from the weight loss. His body hasn't recovered from the colostomy. He's never regained his strength from chemo - and he's still losing weight. He's going into shock - and it's too many conditions compromising his well-being.
I want to add that in most ways - I feel lucky. Because quite often - in life - one dies suddenly or they don't tell you they're sick and; then one day they're dead. In situations like this - we're left saying, "goodbye" simply by having conversations with ourselves. But with Marc - I was able to tell him what he really means to me. :)
Oh, and Marc is at home - where he wants to be - with me :) Marc has courageously accepted his fate; and his last words to me, today; were: "I'm going to greet death with a smile."
Let's all smile with him :)
* Marc was a fellow blogger who used to visit this blog (I´m sure you remember the comments he left here from time to time). A few days ago he invited me to join a Group Blog called "Gay Men Rule", where several blogfriends were getting all together, a new way (for me) of expression.
Marc was a fighter. And though we were not close friends, I´ll miss him.
Candle lights on your way, buddy, I know wherever you are now, you are felling better... and smiling.