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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"Helloooo Sydneyyyy...do you like scary movies??"


Why the hell everything in my life has to be so damned taken-from-a-movie like???? or worst taken-from-a-fucking-sitcom like??? [Note: you retard! yes, YOU, this was retorical so please, don´t you dare to write an answer on a comment!]

Ok, I met a guy. [take this time to your cheerleader dance and clapping celebrating this fact....................................................... are you done with it?......... no? ok.................................................... now let me continue..... please?!...... all right,
STOP IT!!]

Well, let´s call him Mr.Di, he has found me through this old profile I have and, once he became a "new contact" in my MSN list , we had a few short and nonsense chats. I didn´t give too much on him then (as I do to most of the guys I found by gaydar) and I forgot him pretty soon.
Then, after a month or so, I got this email saying: "Hey, I loved your nickname" and I was like "uh?". I bitterily replied something like: "wich one? I change them all the time"(asuming He was talking about my MSN nick). So, next time he found me online, we started talking, this time a little more open (me + open= trouble).
Mr. Di happened to be a very funny guy, and the most glorious thing is we have the same sick sense of humor (yes, believe it or not!) so I don´t need to be worry about the chance of hurting him with my jokes (Who am I trying to fool??? I NEVER worry about things like that).
The point here is HE HAS BEEN CALLING ME ALL NIGHTS FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!!! and every call is taking more than two and a half hours!!! (crazy uh?).
In the beginning this was silly... now is beyond my control. We don´t wanna rush things or defy anything BECAUSE WE DON´T HAVE ANYTHING! but... c´mon! I´found myself nervous and uncomfortable when it was already 0.30am and he hadn´t called yet (of course, he finally did it and we stayed until 3.30am). And that´s so NOT ME!!
ALEXIS says I´m acting like a schoolgirl on a crush, and maybe he´s right. Yesterday we were supossed to meet at the theatre and, with a silly excuse, I took the date back... ok, you can hit me!... I´m kinda terrified, not because he (as Tish suggested) could probabbly be a serial killer, I´m terrified about being ready to "start" again, and I´m not sure if I want to.
But he´s oh so niiiiiicee... yes Alexis, you are definately right.
Ian.-
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