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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

X´s


Dear Gabriel,
I know you probbably don´t remember me (or you don´t want to). Its Ian, yeah, Ian from highschool, the one you used to date, do you remember now? Yes, that one, the one you broke his heart.
The last thing I´ve heard from you is that you were starting a hitch-hike ride to Peru, always that passionate and ready-to-challenge, uh?.
I just wanted to tell you I´ve never forgotten you, I never could, your face always came up as a warning sign every time I met someone new...can you believe it?
Yes, the wunds has never healed, and maybe being that hurted helped me to learn how to face my own challenges in life, made me strong to accept who I was and how to deal with my own insecurities.
We were so young, we played with fire, you threw me into it and I got burned, ok.
I told you once that I had forgiven you, I wasn´t lying... but I lied when I said I would never think of you again. I am not a living-in-the-past kind of guy, but your eyes are always there saying: Ian, be carefull.
If you are in town... give me a call, I think it´s about time to be face to face again and...who knows, maybe find out there are no regrets after all.
Hugs.
Ian



Dear Loui,
Please don´t run, yes it´s me.
I know it´s been a while, how old are you now?. No matter how much, you are still a kid, don´t you?
I don´t know where to start. I just wanted to know if you are doing well. I wish you were, and I just hope all the shit I put you through is now just a bad memory from the past.
The last time we´ve seen each other I said I was sorry, I am.
Will you ever forgive me, baby?... I swer I´m still feeling guilty for making you suffer like that, but, believe me, I never lied, I just couldn´t feel what I wasn´t feeling.
I know I am “the bad guy” on your movie... but trust me, I´m not the enemy.
I´d love to hug you again, but I´m affraid you are not interested, and it´s ok. We just can´t be friends or anything less.
I just pray for your happiness.
I love you.
Ian



Dear Augusto,
HA! Hello sweetheart! Since the moment we first met, that summer night, I felt there aren´t enough words to describe our “thing”. You inserted me into a world of wonders where everything is possible. You were my first husband, my fist time when I thought about “everafter”, you are the love of my life, and the owner of a piece of my heart.
Nobody ever understood our “thing” as nobody ever understood how can we possibly still love each other after all this time.
The other day, Alexis, a friend, asked me who would I hug if I knew the end of the world was coming, silly uh?, well, I just couldn´t think about anyone else but you.
I love you with all my heart,
Ian.-
PS.- I´m calling you tomorrow night.


Dear Santiago,
My brother´s friend, Hahahaha what crazy starts, crazier ends, right?
How are you? You won´t believe how many times Lucas (my brother) and I talked about you lately... what the hell life has done to you?? We´ve never heard from you in years!
It will be great to get the three of us togheter again to laugh about the time when you came home to “visit my brother” and secreately dropped notes and letters on my bedroom.
I miss your laugh and your sick sense of humor, I wish you were here to laugh like hyenas about all the crazy thingss I´ve done at the rehab center.
Please call, bitch! I need to laugh.
Love always
Ian.

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