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A Handicapped Bitch in Recovery!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

A post about cock and balls...



The only reason I´m gonna write about this the unconditional LOVE I feel for all of you and, knowing how much you enjoy all the freaky things that happens to me all the time, pissing me off and driving me crazy.

OK, let´s get this started...

Me, “Crotch of fire”
To get the whole thing you gotta remember how I´d been bitching about the spots I get all over my body cuz of the strong medication I´m taking to fight against the symptoms of my illness. Even though the pills have been reduced and most of my skin-spots are gone by now, I was worried about some red lines I still have on my legs. These lines (there are maybe six, not more than that) came up a few months ago and they are darker compared with the other spots I had, making me look like a ZEBRA FROM HELL.

So I did what every strong and mature man would do on this situation... I started crying and desperately called my Mom to show her.

She said: “Crap! They look like stretchmarks but in red!” (yes, like the ones some pegnant women has on their bellys)
“Fuck!”

Two weeks later (I hate doctors) we went to my dermatologist who, after looking at my legs for fifteen minutes (I think he liked them, I felt I was a can can doll) he said:
“Yes, they are stretchmarks. Apparently, the cortizone effects forced your skin and some of your skin cells just died, that´s why, if you look closer, the skin seems to be torn, these are the red lines you see.”
“Fuck!”
“Don´t worry, Ian”
“Why, is there something that will make me look like human again instead of a freakin zebra?”
“As a matter of fact there is. All right, this is what you’re gonna do...”

INSTRUCTIONS: Every night, when going to bed, apply this lotion all over the red lines on your legs and let it get into them. Then, in the morning, put this nidrolised collagen and vitamin E body milk all over the zone to help your skin generate new cells (or something like that, I never pay attention...)

What this stupid doctor never said was that the first “lotion” was based on acid.

And what this stupid doctor didn´t know, and unless he became my lover (or get to this site) WILL never know, is that I usually sleep naked - I mean, no underwear.

Yes, THAT THING YOU ARE THINKING OF HAS HAPPENED, and unless I had chosen a giving birth position to sleep, I just couldn´t avoid it...
And, as this lotion acts very slowly, I didn´t realize until the next morning when I woke up and felt this burning pain all over my..uh..balls.

THE PHYTON ON MY PANTS

No, I´m not talking about my size you Jerks! This story of the painfull burning balls is not over. Yes, there´s more stuff to –you: laugh/I: cry- about...

That morning I woke up with the burning balls I found out that my nuts were not the only ones affected by this acid bath... guess who else was as red as tomatoe?
Very good!!! That´s so painfully correct... I had burnt my dick too.
But the most hedious thing was not its color, or the hard pain I got every time I had an erection (it happends very often)... it was the way it started to “change” its skin like a fucking snake...
It seems the acid lotion´s effects had worked faster on that area (as its skin is very sensitive and fragile) and, after a week it renueved all my lil´Willy (well, not that little) skin.

And now you can say I am a “new man”... how many of you can say you have a totally new cock at the age of 26????
And believe me, it looks so geourgeous on his new “coat”!!! (no Jon/Alexis/Ted, I won´t post pictures!!! If you wanna take a look, then take your fucking plane to BA!!!)

Ian.-
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